Probably not a fireman, but you never know

I’ve really been struggling with the whole idea of “what I want to be when I grow up.” Lately it has been taking over more and more of my thoughts. And it’s not really because I feel like I am getting older (I still think 25 is really young). For a while after college it was more age than anything that was pushing me to find out what I should do with my life because I was finished with my education and it seemed like that is the time in your life where you pick a career path and just go with it until you can afford to retire. I think the reason that I have been thinking about it more and more as of late is because I really just want to go out there and do something exciting. It’s no longer a feeling of duty because of my age, it’s more of a feeling of boredom in my current life situation that is pushing me towards wanting to find something that I love and pursuing it wholeheartedly.

My problem, though, is that I find it incredibly hard to pick just one narrow field to pursue, because I feel if I can pick only one that I will be missing out on so much other stuff. At the same time, if I keep putting things off I will never get anything accomplished. To me it’s better to have tried something out and failed or find out that I don’t really like it rather than just float through life in the comfortably, easy, and safe situation that I’m currently in. Right now I’m working a descent job where I make descent money and I’m in an extremely easy living situation where I have very little expenses. What this means is that it would be so easy to just stay exactly where I am and keep working a job that I am not passionate about and living where I am just because it is convenient and involves little to no risk.

I have this fear that I will develop a complacency in my current situation where I will end up not doing anything with my life for the next few years. I don’t want to look back when I’m 30 and think “well that was a waste of time.” So now I am just looking for what path I need to take, and what is the next step that I need to take that will get me there. Should I move to CA and try to get into the film industry. Should I start my own production company. Should I take a stab at becoming a photographer, screenwriter, or a musician? Any of those things could be and probably would be awesome, but how am I supposed to pick just one?

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~ by twentyfivetolife on August 13, 2008.

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