Thank you second amendment

I bought a gun this past weekend. Yes a gun. I have been wanting one for a while now, and I finally said to myself “That’s it! It’s time to buy a gun so you can shoot things.” Now that summer camp is over, it is up to the few people that are still living there to keep the animal population in check. I want to do some target practice as well.

Buying my gun was not the best of experiences. After I got out of church on Sunday, I decided that I was going to buy my gun that day. I’m not sure why, but I knew today was the day for me to join the ranks of millions of gun owning rednecks across the nation. The only thing was, I didn’t want to spend a lot of money. My budget was $100, maybe a little more if I had too. The first place I went was the ghetto Walmart in Bowie. I figured if I was on a budget then Walmart is the ideal place. To my horror though I didn’t see a single rifle in the store. When I asked the nice old man at the counter if they had any rifles he explained to me that because people kept coming from DC to PG county MD to buy guns they stopped selling them there, but ironically they started selling guns in DC now, but you still can’t get them in PG county. Since I couldn’t get my gun there, my last hope was the beautiful, amazing, and always customer friendly (can you smell the sarcasm?) Edgwater Kmart. Yes the place where all your dreams come true…and more.

As I walked back to the sporting goods section I was pleasantly surprised to see that there was actually people back there manning the counter. Usually its a ghost town back there except for the occasional wife beater clad redneck looking at fishing tackle. I asked if I could take a lookat the rifles after another customer had already gotten them to open the gun cabinet. I pulled out the .22’s one by one to take a look. I had actually done a little research on .22’s and I knew that the Ruger 10/22 was supposed to be nice. To my surprise, they actually had one, but of course in Edgewater Kmart fashion, there was no price on it and the sales people had no idea. I asked one of the guys if he could find out for me and he gave me a look like I just asked him to turn the gun into a solid piece of gold. I know it’s crazy to think that customers might want to know how much something costs before they buy it, but the price of the gun was kind of vital if I was going to buy it. The guy (clearly frustrated that this annoying customer was asking so much of him) disappeared into the back to try to find the price. Mean while the guy who was supposed to be working the electronics department came over.

This guy was my favorite by far. When he saw that I was looking at guns he got all excited and starting showing me all the different kinds and what they did and which ones were good and bad. When i told him that I wanted a .22 semi automatic he said that he would go with the Savage model that they had. He said that his uncle knew a lot about guns and that he always bought Savage rifles. The price on the one he showed me was $140. Meanwhile after about 10 minutes the other guy had returned with the price of the Ruger, $160. The choice was easy. The Savage was cheaper and recommended by the one guy who seemed to know what he was talking about.

Then I made the mistake of saying, “Ok, I’ll take it.” The 4 guys that had all kind of congregated around the guns as this was all going on all looked at each other like “Oh crap. He is actually going to buy something. What are we supposed to do?” Luckily they used their team working skills. One remembered that there was a some kind of form I needed to fill out. Another one volunteered to try to find the box that he didn’t think they had. One more went back with him to try to find the key to the trigger lock that was on they gun that they had no idea where it was. The Edgewater Kmart was by far surpassing it’s reputation by now.

After about an hour of them finding a box with no instructions, me demanding to have instructions, them looking for instructions, them finding then loosing then finding again the trigger lock key, me filling out a form, them trying to figure out what they were supposed to do with the form, and them finally getting all the paperwork squared away, I was finally escorted to the front to checkout. I was getting really frustrated, but I was in the home stretch finally!

When they got to the front, they couldn’t find the UPC on the box until I pointed it out for them, right on the bottom of the box. Then the guy realizes that he needs a manger’s override to sell a gun. When the manager finally arrives he scans the box and looks puzzled at the screen. I’m thinking to myself “Oh crap. Here it comes. This should be good.” He then tells me that the gun is ringing up as $80. Finally! I catch a flippin’ break on the Kmart expedition that is passing an hour and a half. I thought it was a nice little ending to the whole fiasco and I almost, just for a second, thought to myself “Maybe the Edgewater Kmart isn’t so bad after all.” But don’t worry, they did not let me down at the end. Right after I swiped my credit care and thought that it was finally over, manager said, “Oh yeah! You need to sign the so and so form before you can buy this.” And of course they don’t keep those forms at the front desk where we were, they are all the way back in sporting goods. The manager (who was actually a pretty nice guy) ran to the back and returned with the form a minute or two later. I filled it out and signed it and they finally walked me to the door with my trusty new gun.

Thanks Edgewater Kmart. You never cease to amaze me.

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~ by twentyfivetolife on August 21, 2008.

3 Responses to “Thank you second amendment”

  1. This story made me laugh… alot. When you said “The first place I went was the ghetto Walmart in Bowie.”, I knew exactly what you were talking about because I went there once and when I got back people were like “NOOOOO!!! Why did you go there?” And the Edgewater KMart… many memories are in that KMart.

    But let’s look on the bright side… some crazy person who wants to buy a gun to kill people probably wouldn’t have waited around through all of that chaos. Maybe, what you experienced was KMart’s way of keeping guns out of the wrong people’s hands.

  2. Awesome! Gotta love the Bowie Walmart. Good point though about Kmart. Maybe that is there own little insanity test. I guess I passed.

  3. KMart=amazes? Heck, NO! More like disappoint, anger and infuriate. Yes…those are more accurate adjectives for it.

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